So my little sabattical in drawing has been good for the theoretical end of things. When you've been smashing your head against the wall, its good to step back and stop smashing for a minute and rethink things. As a previous journal mentioned, on top of a complete lack of free time, i've had recent understanding of my lack of creativity and its making me not really want to draw.

When i try to think of something new, it feels like all I can think of are slight variations on things i have already done. It seems most of my 'milestone' peices have been results of riding on the coattails of someone else's style. When I do get an interesting new idea, It usually fades away before I can really get a solid memory of what it was. But those are the peices that have brought me the most satisfaction. Peices like "tao", "no more running", and "don't beat yourself up" are examples of those. I've realized that both my imagination and my focus are not very up to par as far as being an artist. At times I only see myself as an 'artist' in the sense that I've put time and effort into the skill of drawing rather than being genuinely artistic.

It seems just about every artist starts off by trying to emulate a style they like, but i feel like ive never really been able to break free of that. As time went on, I found several different styles I liked and, as result, began trying to emulate them as well. Mainly characters and monsters in a fantasy setting. Recently, I've been aiming more toward creating scenes and conveying a message or feeling with my peices. Even though i'm evolving the reasons behind my work, I still feel like all I am really capable of is emulating a style (or combination of styles) that I like. Most of the time, they boil down to two or three basic poses every time even though they are not originally intended that way.

Since I've got some time to think, and the occasional moment to sketch, I'd like some input on this. What do you define as 'being creative'? Have you found yousrelf in a similar situation?